Stop What You’re Doing And Watch The Hell Out Of This CollegeHumor Original of the Day: Aubrey Plaza and Internet Fat Guy John Gemberling star in Twilight: Three Wolf Moon.
I can’t even put into words how much this needs to become real, but I’ll try: This really, really needs to become real.
[via.]
“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.
“Pooh!” he whispered.
“Yes Piglet?”
“Nothing” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s paw. “I just wanted to be sure of you.”
”
Old ladies reenact old memes. via Urlesque
SO. CONFUSED.
But I totally dig it, so there.
Oh my gosh, this is me in 15 years.
Click through for bigger image.
Dear Ulta,
Welcome to 2009. I also feel more and more technologically obsolete with each passing day. But who the fuck uses Windows, Netscape, a 56 kbps connection, AOL, or Javascript? Except you and the people who work for you.
Love,
Annoyed Mac, Firefox, wireless cable internet user who was thinking of a seasonal part-time job at the new Ulta opening up nearby, but has changed her mind.
Burglar Tip #7 - If a home owner walks in on you in the middle of your burglary, try this clever trick:
Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom’s. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML
Project Runwhinypants
Was anyone else as irritated as I was about how whiny the designers were on Project Runway about having to design for a pregnant woman? “Oh, I’ve never done this before! It’s so weird! This belly is so big!”
Like, seriously. Women have bellies. Some are big and pregnant, some are smaller and not pregnant, some are big and not pregnant! The belly! That thing between the T and the A!
They are fashion designers, not artists. The things they design, while artistic, are also meant to be worn, and not just by walking hangers with great hair. They’re to be worn by people with different shapes and yes, with bellies! Should ladies that are knocked up or over a size 8 just drape canvas over themselves and call it a day?
Jeesh! Just settle down everyone and add an extra yard of fabric. I don’t know why everyone was suddenly acting like they were being forced to build a rocket ship or something.
Also, the girl that won. I want that coat she made!
When I first meet someone, I like to ask them who their favorite Faith Tone is.
They are all handsome women, but I’m partial to the one that looks like Stephen Fry.
I was Team Jon right from the start. Even before the Gosselin’s marital woes dominated when JK8 was just a show about a cool dad who loves to play with his kids, all 8 of them and his crazy wife yelling at him about coupons or mocking his speech. If you watched an episode or two or if you will, a classic JK8 and you would realize just how insane Kate is and much like a taunt episode of “24” or a close Lakers games, you would yell at the TV for Jon to break away and take all the cool kids with him.
Now that he has finally broken free, Jon has pretty much become one of the world’s biggest dick noses. He shouldn’t be allowed to hang out with the cool kids and the dogs because of what a dick nose he has become. The Ed Hardy shirts. Hanging out with Lindsay Lohan’s dad. It’s easy to say that Jon is making up for lost time since he got married and catching up on (probably his words) “lost poontang,” but when you make the big decision to take fertility pills, you are saying to the world: I’ve had all the poontag I wanted from the buffet of life; there are no more wild tigers that need to be chased; you are done and you are committed to whatever litter of children happens.
I’m rolling Team Kate these days as crazy as that sounds.
The words. Right out of my mouth.
Sneak Peek of the Day: From the Dexter panel at SDCC comes this three-and-a-half minute, spoiler-packed trailer for the fourth season of Showtime’s hit “serial” drama.
Dexter returns Sunday, September 27.
[via.]
Oh man, I CAN’T WAIT!
